The Annual Gathering of the Real Hounds of Bent Tree
The Golden Retriever, who had somehow become party chairman despite never winning an election, called the meeting to order. "First order of business," he announced. "Who barked at the landscapers today?"
Every dog raised a paw.
The two Westies proudly bragged that they barked for 2 hours without a water break. The Miniature Pinscher claimed he had personally supervised the mowing operation from three different windows. The white Chihuahua explained that the landscapers were clearly suspicious because they were wearing hats.
The Ausi-pom nodded seriously. "I counted six leaf blowers, two mowers, and one wheelbarrow."
Everyone agreed this was valuable intelligence.
The Sidewalk Sandblasting Crisis
The conversation soon turned to the recent sidewalk sandblasting project.
The Greyhound sighed. "I remember when sidewalks were quiet."
The wise old Mastiff nodded. "I remember when dinosaurs were quiet."
Nobody was sure if that was true, but he's big and no one dared doubt him.
The Yorkie— who is on a keto diet— complained that the sandblasting had interrupted his morning nap schedule. "My nap schedule is a carefully engineered," he explained. "I sleep from 11:30 until 12:00."
The Mini Poodle asked, "What do you do after noon?" The Yorkie replied "I eat my small lunch and then beg for hours for more food. "
Everyone agreed that sounded exhausting. Lunch should be "all you can eat".
Garage Door Rumors
Soon the conversation shifted to the most perplexing topic of all:
Who had crashed into their garage wall.
The two light-brown Dachshunds immediately moved to the front of the circle.
One whispered dramatically: "Remember the white SUV?"
The other gasped. "The one that made a lot of noise going into the garage?" The entire group leaned in.
The Havanese claimed to have witnessed a garage door "jumped in front of the car at the last second."
The Italian Doxi insisted there should be warning signs.
The Malti-poo, who has a lot of vehicle experience, suggested a new community sign: CAUTION: GARAGE MAY APPEAR LARGER THAN IT IS.
This received unanimous approval.
The Delivery Driver Discussion
The yellow Lab then raised a topic that had become a community-wide concern. "Can we discuss delivery drivers?"
A collective groan spread through the gathering.
The Terrier mix reported seeing a package launched from twenty feet away.
The white Coton de Tulear claimed a box had been left outside the gate and it smelled like food.
The Mini Bernedoodle said he had personally timed a delivery van at "approximately one million miles per hour."
The Boston Terrier, who considered himself an expert in municipal affairs, declared "If there were more dog food orders the drivers would have more delivery stops and that would stop the speeding."
The dogs agreed this was a sensible solution.
The Mini Bernedoodle reminded everyone that she was a girl, despite being named "Buddy", and that she has every right to participate in girl's swimming competitions.
The Greyhound reminded the pack "dogs are not allowed at the pool". The Dachshund shouted "Oh no.".
The Golf Course Report
Then came the golf course update.
Everyone became excited.
The Golden Retriever stood and addressed the crowd. "Who is looking forward to the golf course renovation being finished?"
Every tail started wagging.
The Westies wanted fresh places to patrol.
The Yorkies wanted new locations from which to judge people.
The Ausi-pom wanted detailed progress reports.
The Chihuahua wanted absolutely nothing to change.
The yellow Lab asked if there would be green or yellow tennis balls.
The Greyhound reminded the pack of the rules again "dogs aren't allowed on the golf course."
The Great Power Outage Debate
As dusk settled over the fairway, conversation turned to another recent event.
The gas company had cut electrical service while performing work.
The dogs had opinions.
Many opinions.
The Miniature Pinscher gave a passionate speech that lasted fifteen minutes despite nobody understanding exactly what he was upset about.
The Havanese and Boston Terrier noted that blinking clocks created unnecessary stress.
The Mastiff simply said: "In my day, electricity stayed where you left it."
Again, nobody questioned him.
The End of the Evening
As the evening ended, the dogs gathered for a group photograph.
Some sat.
Some stood.
Some lay down.
The keto Yorkie had fallen asleep before the picture started.
The Golden Retriever smiled.
The yellow Lab smiled.
The Cockerpoo smiled.
Several dogs were smiling at absolutely nothing.
The Chihuahua remained suspicious.
The Ausi-pom was counting dogs to ensure nobody had wandered off.
And the Greyhound quietly watched the sunset over the unfinished golf course.
For a few moments, the barking stopped.
The complaints stopped.
The stories stopped.
The dogs simply enjoyed being together. Neighbors and friends forever. There was peace in their hearts. "We are all in this together!"
Someone spotted a landscaper.
And the meeting immediately dissolved into chaos.
When do we have a cat day????
ReplyDeleteDog Day was easy. The dogs were happy to pose for photos. The cats have retained legal counsel. Cats also informed us they prefer a private event and will let us know if we're invited. We are still negotiating terms.
DeleteA clever and entertaining read, thank you!!
ReplyDelete